April 18th, 2010
Do Men Feel It More When they are Dumped?
A simple question, dumper vs dumpee? No, I have not run out of subjects; believe me there are plenty of restaurants and activities to write about in all of my beaches. But I have been thinking about this all day.
A friend confides that he has just gotten his yearly dumping. He does not say it with sadness, nevertheless, if he is saying it is because it is definitely bothering him. He cannot believe it. He does not even know why. Oh, yes, she said he was not sensitive enough last year when they went on a trip together. Right. Tell me more…let me get the violin.
I will call him Tim, but that is not remotely his name. Tim is wondering why at his age things are not working for him. He has never been married but has had long-term relationships. You guessed it, dumped in all of them. This is the nicest guy and a good catch, as well. No, he is not ugly.
My guess is that he is extremely nice. I think, women like the bad boy type, but when its time to settle down, we want the nice guy. I think Tim is too nice and she was a bit younger and was getting impatient. Tim is not moving fast enough for her.
I have another friend that thinks that men that are a little older and have never gotten married, will only do so when they feel they are going to be lonely in later years and want someone to take care of them. She does not think that Tim is ever going to get married.
I decided to get barbecue at Bethany Blues. I wrote a post about this restaurant on 1/2/10. If you want to see it, just click on the month of January under Archives and scroll down to the date. Bethany Blues is located at 618285 Coastal Highway (Rt. 1), Lewes, DE 19958. Tel. 302-644-2500 and the website is www.bethanyblues.com.
They are completely aware of different food allergies. You will be comfortable at Bethany Blues if you have to eat gluten free.
As I arrived at the restaurant the smell of hickory wood burning was all over the parking lot. It smelled so good, specially since the temperatures have dropped this evening. The food was delicious.
Courtney and Britney were working and I polled them. Both can see why men feel it more than women when they are dumped. Usually, they are the dumpers. It’s an ego thing.
If you are the dumpee you feel confusion, anger, sadness and frustration. So I think you need to figure out why are you the dumpee and what was the dynamic of the relationship. Many relationships are just casual and friendly, until they are not fun anymore. Sometimes is boredom or longing for greener pastures, who knows? I think that as the relationship begins, we need to set expections in order to avoid disappointments later on.
Now, if you are the dumper you might think differently. Well, you were the one not happy but eventually you might start to miss the dumpee. Things might not have turned out to be as you expected. You might see the dumpee now as a confident, easy going and happy person. Go figure.
We have gone through this at some point in our lives.
One thing that Tim should realize is that part of any relationship’s break up is moving on from it afterwards.
Blame? I don’t know. As hard as it is to let go, the best thing is to pick up the pieces, the best you can.
What do you think? Write me to the blog. It would be interesting to hear from both of you; dumper and dumpee. I am sure there are some good stories out there. And, what else do you have to do on a Sunday night. Country Music Awards? Write me anyway.
See you….talk to you later….
Tags: Bethany Beach, Bethany Blues, Delaware Beaches, Delray Beach, Dewey Beach, Dumper vs Dumpee, Florida, Full Bar, Gluten free awareness, Lewes, Maryland, Ocean City, rehoboth beach, Relationships
Interesting………Trying to figure out who Tim is
Obviuosly , the dumper always has the upper hand and there is not much the dumpee can do about getting dumped.
I cannot believe that you are the only one that replied to this post. Do you think people just don’t like to talk about it? I thought it would have been interesting. Anyway, thanks for your comment. And, you do know who Tim is.
get real …men move on
I am so glad you wrote to the blog. Did you also write about the corn last summer? Seems to recall that you have the same style. I hate to disappoint you, but I think men are more sensitive than you believe. They just can’t show it; don’t want to show weakness. It’s kind of nice to see that other side of them, though.
Ok-so if Debbie knows “Tim” do I ?:)I read
the posts backwards by date and was thinking
you were talking about being “dumped” for a
short period of time I.e. a week or so to travel
without your man. In this case-men really can’t handle
being left home alone and women tend to love it!
She knows who “Tim” is, but not personally. Actually, that post caused me some controversy because some people thought that it did not go with the blog concept that I have followed through. I did not erase it just so that I can remember not to write something like that again. Thanks for the comments to the blog.
My boy dumped me after we had 2 years relationship. I thought everything was great, we even planned to marry. He left me without telling me the reasons, he just emailed to say “just forget” him. I called him more than thousands time but he did not pick up the phone. I felt sorrow, I cried till I couldn’t cry. And after 2 months I decided to forget him and started my new life. I told to myself that I am pretty, I have a great job/social life and I have good friends.
Guess what ? after 1 year he emailed me and said he regretted to leave me and wanted to come back again
What do you think ?
Whitelily
Why would you want to be with someone that hurt you so badly; not having any consideration for you. Those traits never go away.
But, you decide.
Whitelily: I can’t believe you event have to question that after he did not have the courage to tell you all this face to face. E-mail? No way…..move on.
Don’t you think people deserve a second chance ?
Yes, I do feel people need a second chance. Just proceed with caution. The proof will be when he acts like you are the most important person. Shows respect, compassion and sensitivity.
What do you think he would feel if I ignore/dump him back ?